APHRODISIACS & BEACH BOYS by Arnold Swartzdonger

OK, everybody! Let's do a self-test! Stand up, take all your clothes off, stand up straight, and look down! What do you see? If you see pubic hair and toes, you're

doing fine, so far. If you see a belly button, you're in trouble!

Next question: What do you do at your job most of the day? Do you sit on your butt? What do you do when you get home from work? Sit on your butt? If you answered 'yes' to both questions, you'd better read on. to only one question, read on anyway!

If you answered 'yes'

If you work in a factory doing physical labor and still saw a belly button when you looked down, you're sitting on your butt at home, eating too much greasy fatten ing food, and drinking too much gay brew. If you sit on your butt at work and come home and work out, jogging, bicycle, etc., and still saw a belly button, you're probably loading up your lunch time brownie bag with the wrong kind of goodies! What to do about that view? Start with some situps, toe touches and leg raises (just the two long ones dummy!) Do 20 of each in the morning before you go to work, and 20 more in the evening when you get home. You'll be stiff for the first few days, but after that, you'll feel a lot better. (if you're doing these exercises on the buddy system, make sure you do the exercises before lifting those third legs.) Exercise is intimately connected with diet. You are what you eat not who! Cut way down on the booze. Forget burgers, chips, fries and all that other stuff that's cooked in a swimming pool of hot oil! Eat salads--lots of them-and go light on the dressing. Vinegar and oil is best. Eat fresh fruit and raw vegetables. (By the way, these are not growing in Grace Park or Nimisila.) Beef, chicken and fish are excellent, but do not fry-roast, boil steam or broil. They contain protein--the major building block for muscle tissue. Potatoes in and of themselves are not fattening. It's all the butter and sour cream, etc. That you're putting on them. Watch it! Milk and dairy products (including fresh cream) are great lots of calcium calcium helps build strong bones-see? If you just must have munchies, try

a glass of fruit juice and celery and carrot sticks, or a small piece of cheese.

OK, gang! After the first couple of weeks, you can increase your exercises to 30 of each, add some pushups, etc.. Now think about some bicycling, jogging, swimming, hiking, tennis or whatever. They're all good for you and there's bound to be one you'll enjoy! Let's watch those hairs and toes coming into sight again over the belly button horizon. And find some place to get your pants taken in when the new view appears.

What about the aphrodisiac part of this? Well, now, it's a proven fact that sitting around on your butt patting your belly and 'resting' as you call it, just helps deplete your energy and makes you more tired and groggy. Sleep 12 hours a night and you'll be tired for 12 hours of daylight. The body needs exercise, fresh air, and activity to replentish and renew itself. Stuffing it with beer and greasy fattening food just increases the problems. The better and more energetic you feel, the better you'll be in bed! The body, properly cared for, can be it's own best aphrodisiac.

By the way, a number of people report increased sexual vitality from taking one vitamin E capsule each day, but others say not. It seems to vary from person to

person.

continued on page 19

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